Three of Six

"I am probably one of the six people who read your blog. No offence, but with twelve million blogs out there and counting that doesn't leave many people a lot of time to go around reading blogs. Some people's blogs probably have zero readers. Some people's blogs are so crappy that they don't even manage to read their own blogs. There should be a special ring of hell opened up just for these people but that is something I will discuss on my own blog which I am going to call Dickie Richards: Genius? or Pathetic Whiner?

Now, I am glad that there are no photos of me out there on the web as I know you would make hideous fun of me. But seriously... let me get to why your web program might not be selling. Try this: What the fuck is it? Look at the text:

Visual Menu is a cross-browser, client-side, DHTML menu that was made for people who want to create powerful, stylish web menus with minimal effort.

I quit reading Dickie. I just stopped. Now, I grant that I am a technophobe. But I am not an idiot. (I think.) Ass soon as a computer nurd uses the phrase "cross-browser", my eyes cross and I fall into a brief narcoleptic coma. Who is this program for because it sure as shit ain't me or the other five people who read your blog.

Here are some ideas for programs you can write:

A flash program where you get to throw a pie at Bush. If it has been done please post the URL.

A program where you get to make love to lots of beautiful women.

A program that will teach me how to make love to lots of beautiful women instead of spending my time reading amusing blogs.

A program that helps me calculate how stupid the American people are becoming.

A program that will help John Kerry win the election.

See, those are programs that will sell.

Just some thoughts.

-- Three of Six
# posted by Anonymous : 8/2/2004 03:10:09 PM"

Three of Six,

I will have you know that I have certifiable, indisputable, unmistakable, and incontrovertible evidence that seven people read this blog. Not six! So Ha!

Ha!

I showed you!

Now that I've said that, let me add that I fully embrace the idea of your doing a Dickie Richards: Genius? or Pathetic Whiner? blog. In fact, if you do this, I will place a link to your blog from this blog. I think it's a great idea.

Some day someone will push the envelope of blogging even further than I have. They will make a blog about a blog about a blog. For example, they might call it:

A Bored Young Guy's Blog about A Lonely Old Buy's Blog about Georgy Russsell's Blog

This would revolutionize blogging. It would be the blog that puts all other blogs to shame. It would truly be the blog where no blog has ever gone before.

To return to your earlier point that there ain't a lot of people here. Part of the reason, I think, is poor marketing on my part. I have always felt that promotion was beneath me. Part of the problem, also, is that the left wingers think that I am beneath them, so they ignore me like I don't exist. I think that perhaps the left sees me as too crass, vulgar, and pedestrian for their tastes. The left is always trying to appeal to people's intellect. I think this is a bad approach. I prefer to appeal to people on a gut emotional level like the right. The right are master propagandists. The left could learn a lot from the right.

The right-wingers don't even know I exist. I was hoping to get some right-wing hate mail to share with everyone, but I have been saying subversive things for years on the web and bashing the right, and they just ignore me. And, well, fuck, I want them to give me a little fodder. A little hate, so I can expose them.

Now, regarding the program, I appreciate your giving it a look, but dude, I'm sorry, but "cross-browser" is not rocket science. It just means the program works on many different browsers. If you have some wording that you think might be less scary, please share that with me. Why not run the program and see how it is. I'm getting downloads. People are downloading the program, so the documentation can't be that scary for everyone. The trouble is that the downloads aren't translating into the almighty dollar.