My Failed Love-Life

My Message To Kate

Dear Kate,

I am going through a hard time in my life right now. I am having great anxieties over money as well as a medical problem, though it's not life threatening.

I should not have written you, because this is not a good time for me to meet new people, but I guess I felt lonely, so I did.

You seem like a really nice woman. I'm really sorry that I am unable to be sociable right now. I would have liked to have seen you in person.

I sort of feel like a real asshole. I hope you do not take this as a rejection, though it may seem that way.

Dickie


Kate's Reply

Dear Dickie,

Thank you for your response. One of my all-time favorite lines from a movie: "Life is pain, and anyone who tells you anything different is trying to sell you something." I am actually having some financial woes of my own (although they are of my own doing, and not catastrophic by any means) AND I just went through a health crisis, too, so I can certainly appreciate where you are coming from. My health issue was non-life-threatening, too, but still crummy. I actually kind of float in and out of doing the on-line dating thing to meet people because I'll have a few not-so-great experiences and give up for a while, then the loneliness starts crushing me again and I decide to give it another try. Even though I am not at the greatest point in my life, I guess I still feel like I am certainly deserving of love in my life and maybe finding someone special would help. It would at least eliminate the problem of lonliness (which is a problem!). I had a professor in a Psychology class a couple of semesters ago who kept saying, "lonliness kills." I wanted to say, OK, I believe you......now what am I supposed to do about it?????????? I think it is kind of a "guy" thing to want to meet someone when all of your ducks are in a row, so to speak.

If you decide you would rather not correspond or meet, I would certainly understand that. If you decide that even though you may not be at a high point in your life, you might still like to meet a nice person to laugh with and blow off some steam, then feel free to write back. I have no expectations of being whisked off to Paris. Whatever choice you make there is no reason for you to feel badly about it, you were considerate enough to respond to my email and I think that says a lot about you. In this world of anonymous internet correspondence I think we both know that there are many, many "blow offs" where people are never even considerate enough to respond.

I wish you all the best, Dickie. Don't isolate yourself or put off chances at love and happiness for too long, OK? I'm sure you deserve all wonderful things in your life.